Sample Chapter

Excerpted from Words of Love for Men by Wendy Cicchetti, Mark Cicchetti. Copyright © 1999.  All rights reserved.

Introduction

The "Let's Just Deal With It!" series provides tools for getting the most out of life. There is a shift in consciousness that is sweeping the world! In this millennial age, millions of people are waking up and asking questions. We all want to increase the joy in our lives and we are willing to do what it takes to make it happen. Sound familiar? Read on. This book has what you need!

The most difficult and continually challenging issues we face are those concerning relationships. Whether it be a mate, parents, children, siblings, or people we associate with at work, these interpersonal relationships consume our time and energy. We all desire to achieve the same satisfying elements in life. We want our relationships to be filled with joy and last forever. We want peace and to see our children achieve happiness. Many of these admirable desires are subconsciously blocked due to firmly entrenched behavioral patterns in our society. There is considerable denial concerning these issues. Nevertheless, common consensus is moving rapidly towards a "Let's Just Deal With It!" attitude. Each of us focusing on our personal inner work. This is the key — looking within and managing our own progress. These books will provide transformational tools to help identify self-limiting patterns that block personal progress. We teach simple ways to remove these obstacles, producing satisfaction and joy.

This first book in the series is intended to help eliminate some of the intense collective pain experienced by many within intimate relationships. It is devoted to the sincere man who desires to keep friendship, passion, and romance alive with the woman he loves. Men and women are usually very different in their approach to intimate relationships. Because of these differences, women's needs and feelings are often a complete mystery to men. As a result, book stores are filled with volumes on related subjects. While most of these publications are excellent, they are frequently more complex than they need to be.

This book provides powerful, yet simple and easy to apply formulas for all men who are actively searching for help and understanding. When used sincerely and appropriately, these formulas and techniques can be applied to any relationship, sexual or platonic. However, for the purposes of this work, our instruction is directed to any man who chooses to create a lasting and satisfying union with his mate. Applying the formulas as outlined will empower your efforts and accelerate the fulfillment of your desires.

Relationships are always a work in progress. As they develop into higher and deeper levels of love and intimacy one thing is inevitable — change. People change, circumstances change, and the world around us changes. Yet through all the uncertainties of life we still find that every individual craves — either openly or secretly — to be known, understood, nurtured, and loved. Learning to apply the love-enhancing formulas we teach will provide consistency in your relationships through ever-changing times.

Most of the difficulties experienced in intimate relationships stem from a lack of knowledge, not from direct intent to cause suffering. Contributing factors include improper training or no training, negative and unproductive stereotypes from past generations, excessively violent and abusive media programming, destructive and misogynistic (hatred and mistrust of women) domestic examples, and the continuing exploitive and inappropriate traditional demands placed on women. These behavioral patterns are generally absorbed during childhood and accepted as normal. Rarely are the examples around us analyzed for appropriateness and success until extensive damage has occurred in a relationship.

When working through these complex issues, it is essential to remember that Love is THE most important element of our existence. Our most fundamental objective as students on this planet is to learn to express it. If we fail at this, nothing else we do truly matters.

As we examine the frequently reported deteriorating condition of the family unit, the ever-increasing numbers of dissatisfied women, and the restlessness of men in our society, one obvious answer to healing is teaching how to express genuine love and affection. That is what this book is all about! When you apply these principles, you bring greater peace and contentment into your own life through the contentment you engender in your loved ones.

Generally, women are able to demonstrate love more easily than men, due to cultural conditioning and natural mothering instincts. However, there are many nurturing principles which can be learned. These principles will assist you in demonstrating the sincere emotions you feel toward your loved ones in productive and tangible ways. Your expanded ability to show love and kindness increases the joy within your immediate family which brightens the lives of everyone they touch. In this way your ability to demonstrate love benefits people you may never meet. Love is added to the collective consciousness and everyone benefits in some way by your improved ability to communicate love.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe and when expressed with consistency and pure intent, great transformations and healing result — in individuals, in families, and in our world. The most productive place to begin is within ourselves. If we collectively strengthen our close relationships and demonstrate wonderful examples of commitment and devotion, we will change this planet's emotional atmosphere of contention and fear to one of safety, security, and love.

Although it is essential to assume responsibility for one's own happiness (the topic of Book 3, "Personal Words of Love"), in a committed relationship and within a family, expressions of loving kindness by all members are vital to the well-being of each individual and the relationship as a whole. Love and friendship require consistent nourishment for lasting joy and maximum satisfaction. This book provides the tools you need to nurture and emotionally satisfy the ones you love. Make no mistake, these seemingly selfless acts are done for the greatest of rewards; your loved one's cup will overflow to fill your cup again, and again, and again.

Through the ordeal of failed marriages, frustrating relationships, and the rich joy of a true love, Mark and I have come to understand the importance of hearing and expressing sincere loving words to experience meaningful emotional, sexual, and spiritual intimacy. We have successfully applied these techniques in our relationship and have shared them with many others. We continually see miraculous results.

Each of us has the power to significantly improve the quality of our own life and the lives of our loved ones through the use of Words of Love. Here's how to make it happen.